Say My Name

Surely you remember that famous line from American Pie, when the band geek says to Jim, "Say my name, Bi*ch!" And Jim squeaks back, "Michelle! Michelle!" Well, take heed, fellows. That band geek was asking for what many of us ladies want to hear, and not just in the heat of the moment.

If there's a special girl out there who steams your dumplings, you might want to knock her socks off every now and again by uttering her name. Say it aloud, type it in an email: just make sure to address her by name! HER name... and no one else's (this part is pretty important).

I speak for the majority when I say: there is nothing better than hearing your own name burst forth from the lips of the one you love. I don't mean that every time you start a new sentence you should drop her name at the front of it. That's just plain weird. Inserting her name into every typed sentence of an email is also weird. Instead, try to pepper the conversation with casual utterances of her name... just often enough to make her gasp with pleasure at the sound of the Magic Word. This works particularly well as part of your dramatic entrance onto the scene.

Example: you're hot for your coworker, Jen, and you know she's hot for you. After just strolling in from lunch, you round the corner to her cubicle. There she is, God love her, hunched over the keyboard, precious tousled locks falling into those pretty peepers as she squints confusedly at the monitor. Ahh, the sight of her makes you dizzy with anticipation, doesn't it. Go for it, Loverboy. Say it! Say her name. Say it now, like this:

"Jen...?"

(And now she looks up, just as her stomach is dropping into her shoes at the sight of you...)

(breathless) "Yes?"

See how easy that was? Now, don't blow it by following with something like, "Have you seen my Pocket Protector?" (although if you've been saying her name all this time you may have already hypnotized her to the point that she has gone out and purchased her OWN pocket protector.)

Seriously guys: the name thing works. If you're getting the sense that special lady is digging your goods, seal the deal and start using her name in sentences, in emails, and in text message greetings. Say it with the undertones of, "I have a shrine of you at home and every night I sacrifice small animals in your honor, O Beauteous One..."

Okay, I'm totally kidding about the shrine thing. (Please don't have a shrine!) Say her name like it's music to your ears. And speaking of music: if things are looking promising for the two of you, maybe you can go so far as to sing her a few songs with her name in them! Yes, songs are another wonderful way to slip her name into everyday conversation and leave her giddy at the thought of you. Why, you're The Guy Who Knows Her Name!

The name thing even applies if you're in a serious relationship. Snooky, Shorty, Honeybear, Baby and Shmoopy can be cute when goofing around, but if you ALWAYS call your girl by a pet name and never by her real name, there's something wildly disappointing about that. And trust me... one day when some other guy looks at YOUR girlfriend and says, "Hey, SHARON..." she is going to SNAP TO IT pretty darn quickly. (Unless of course, her name is Ann, in which case she probably won't respond at all).

Even Madonna tried to tell you once: "When you call my name, it's like a little prayer." So fellas, listen up. If you want to let that certain someone know how you feel about her... say her name!

Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto.

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